Some dark patches, once again!

Years of meditation taught me many things and granted me qualities such as patience, deeper understanding of human emotions and feelings, positive outlook, and various significant realizations about life that gave me some of the best lessons. A time came when I no longer felt the need for daily meditation as I learned to live in the moment even with my eyes open. But until recenty, I have been hearing my calling, an urge to go back to that moment with eyes closed. I ignored it for a long time believing that it might just be due to the stressful situation going on at that time. But now I feel it was a true call.

I’m becoming the person I once was, before my spiritual journey started – angry, short-tempered, impolite, rough, stubborn. Deep inside I know I don’t want to be that person anymore and I had that urge to seek myself again and find who I really am, once more. I shouldn’t have ignored it then, but I’m not ignoring it now. One of the best things of seeking yourself is gaining third person perspective of yourself. It is an incredibly useful tool to make amends in ones character as a whole. Once a person starts seeing himself from third person perspective, he learns to see his own mistakes as if made by another person. This makes them easier to spot and gives a chance to mend them once he has acknowledged them. Knowing what I need to learn gives me clarity of my goals. And therefore, from this very moment onwards, I’m beginning my inner journey once again to start exploring myself and come out with new learnings with better understanding than earlier.

Lockdown during covid has taught me many things but the most challenging thing that it did to me was to show me the mirror, to make me realise how far have I come from myself, that I need to get my core values straightened, that I need to redefine what defines me as a person. Once again, taking a deep dive into the my own levels of consciousness, I have this urge to deeply and strongly connect with the source and I intend to keep that connection strong throughout the stroms.