Do you understand what I say? Can you feel what I feel often? Do you even understand my language or my accent? Are you able to understand the logic or the reason behind the things I say or believe in? Do you sense the change that I’m feeling inside out? Can you help me find my way? Do you know what I know but can’t tell? Do you know that I’m different from all of you? Do you know that I’m AWAKENING???
Well, if you don’t know this, then you should know that it’s not that easy. The sudden rush of emotions that throws me out of this world in just a moment is sometimes unbearable. The divine feeling of LOVE that I receive from the source feels great but I can’t share it with you unless you are open to receive. The unimaginable possibility of holding infinite potential to turn every moment into an opportunity gives a sense of joy and satisfaction to the mind but I can’t make you realize the same unless you are willing to move a step forward on the road of realization. The spontaneous outburst of sadness for no reason is often unquestionable. The strange feeling of loneliness after a great session of togetherness is sometimes unanswerable. The quick change in mood without being noticed is often inexplicable.
I have questions but don’t know what they are; I have responsibilities but don’t know what they are; I have reasons but don’t know where they came from; I have conclusions but don’t know how I reached to them; I know terms but don’t know how I know them; I tell stories but don’t know when I read them. It’s true that mind plays tricks sometimes, but this is not a trick of mind. This is something beyond the simple human understanding of his senses and beliefs. This is the amplification of senses and re-forming of beliefs; this is AWAKENING. Although things are uncertain and blurry right now, it gives me a clear hope that they are going to be favourable soon. This is just a small phase of the BIG realization that’s going to change my life forever.
I’m on a journey where I have to walk alone. I want to live my life on free will, and this is the part where you need to understand me. I act weird sometimes; and that may appear strange to others but the truth is “I’m evolving”. I don’t think my family and friends truly understand the gravity of this change taking place within me; maybe because they haven’t experienced anything like it. You might be thinking that I’m presenting all the negative aspects of spiritual awakening here. But the truth is that these are not negative aspects; these are the valuable experiences from which I’m learning new things every day and I’m happy about it. I’m a lightworker; I harness light from the source and then spread it to the universe. This is not something philosophical because as long as I’m experiencing all such things, they are REAL.
To all the lightworkers out there, if you are feeling the same, then by now you might have realized that it’s not that easy. It feels great to serve others with what you have, but it’s not easy to ‘accept’ and ‘let go’ of things and situations we can’t control. Open your mind and speak out to the world; share your experiences because someone might be waiting for a direction.
©Varun K. Sharma